The Legacy of a Self Proclaimed King
by epicdetour
Summary: James Potter - the second, mind you - prides himself in being the King of Pranks at Hogwarts. Obviously, he isn't about to let anyone take that title from him. Especially not an irritating little sixth-year who goes by the name of Athena Tardine. JSP/OC.


_"I guess you better go and get your armor."  
-Jordin Sparks, Battlefield._

* * *

The potions book was wrong. Really, that was the only logical explanation. James Potter (the second, mind you) was sure that he had followed the directions perfectly. He was absolutely positive of it.

"Are you absolutely positively sure that you did it correctly?" Fred Weasley (also the second) peered over his cousin-slash-best-mate's shoulder, voice strained as if he were biting back a laugh, "Because I'm not sure it's supposed to be that color. Or that consistency. And I'm fairly certain that a happiness-inducing potion shouldn't smell that awful, either."

Shooting the cocoa-skinned boy the dirtiest look he could muster, James raised his finger in an extremely rude gesture, ignoring Fred's mock-offended gasp.

"That's rude," Fred placed a hand on his heart, feigning hurt, "I'm only _saying, _Jamesie-Poo."

"You 'only saying' doesn't help my potion," James pointed out sourly, "And how many times do I have to tell you you _not to call me Jamesie-Poo?"_

Fred smirked, "At least once more, Jamesie-Poo."

James rolled his eyes then, returning his sullen gaze to the bubbling cauldron and leaping backwards as one bubble burst and launched a few drops of the blackish-blue liquid onto the table. One landed onto a piece of Fred's parchment (James was fairly certain that it was Fred's apology letter that he was forced to write to their Potions master, Professor Posey, after a particularly ugly incident involving discolored Pygmy Puffs and Amortentia) and immediate seared a hole through it, staining the tabletop underneath it a strange dark blue color. Both Fred and James stared at it open-mouthed.

"That is most definitely _not _the Elixir to Induce Euphoria," said Fred.

James muttered back, "I'm just glad that the cauldron can withstand the abuse. My parents would murder me if I destroyed another one."

It was true - or, at least, that's what his dad threatened in a very colorful letter in reply to James' own when he wrote home saying that he needed another cauldron because the last exploded. That was only a few weeks ago. In his entire, seven-year career at Hogwarts, James had gone through exactly twenty-nine cauldrons. Fred had begun keeping count after the tenth.

A sigh escaped his lips as Fred asked, "D'you think it's safe to touch?"

"I dunno," James replied, reaching into his trousers pocket beneath his robes and pulling out three shiny Sickles, "but I'm not going to risk burning the flesh off of my body."

He turned to his left, nudging one of the boys at the table beside him until he looked up.

"Hey," James mumbled, "If you clean this up for me, I'll give you five sickles."

The boy stared back before uttering a slightly dumbfounded, "What?"

"Thanks, mate!" James plopped the three Sickles down, clapping the other boy on the back quite cheerfully. The second had begun to protest, but James had already turned away, ignoring as the boy pointed out that he was two short from five Sickles.

"D'you still have those - er, nosebleed things when you nicked from your father's drawers at the end of the summer?" James asked quietly.

"Yeah," Fred reached under the table, dragging his book bag towards him and reaching into it. He dug around a bit until he found what he was looking for - two small sweets, one orange and one purple.

James reached out to grab them, but Fred closed his fingers into a fist around them, giving James a suspicious glare.

"Why do you need them?"

"I'm going to _eat _it, you idiot," James snapped, "I want to get out of here before Professor Posey realizes that the terrible smell is coming from this and I get another bad mark for screwing up a potion that is supposed to be easy for seventh years."

Fred seemed to contemplate this for a little while. Then, he opened his hand. Eagerly, James grabbed the two sweets before raising them to eye-level.

"Erm - which do I eat first?"

"The orange one," replied Fred, rubbing his temples as if he were far too mature to deal with James' antics. This thought alone nearly made James snort out loud. He and Fred were two peas in a pod. If anything, James' younger brother, Albus, was far more mature than the two of them put together.

"D'you want a Puking Pastille instead?" Fred suggested suddenly, raising his head, "I have those in my bag somewhere..."

"Nah," James waved this offer away, "Professor Posey hates blood more than he hates vomit. Remember when I sliced my hand last year? I thought he was going to faint. He cried a little, though."

"I think that was more because he believed that the great Harry Potter would descend from the heavens and smite him for allowing you to get hurt in his own class."

"My father is not a god, Fred."

"He might as well be, the way you hear people talk about him around here," Fred snorted as if it were amusing, even though James knew that he was just as proud of his uncle as James was of his father, "What did they used to call him, again? He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

James did not find this amusing at all.

"Prat," he said in annoyance, "That was Voldemort."

"Sorry, mate," Fred whispered, shame and horror written all over his expression, "Really. I-"

"It's all right, Freddiekins," James shrugged, "Though, my dad may kill you if he ever hears you say something like that. Therefore, I'd advise against repeating it around him unless you'd like a foot up your arse."

"How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that, James?"

James smirked, casually popping the orange-colored sweet into his mouth, "At least once more, Freddiekins."

Before Fred could reply, blood began gushing out of James' nose. James widened his eyes and pressed a hand to his face.

"You didn't tell me it would bleed this much!" James hissed, actually gagging at the taste of blood seeping down through his lips.

"You didn't ask!" was Fred's reply, "They're old, anyways - Dad used to sell them to students when _he _was going here."

James glared at the other for a moment before springing into action.

"Fred!" he exclaimed loudly, changing his expression into one of complete terror, "You hit me!"

_"What?" _Fred shouted as James toppled over his seat and clung to the bench as what seemed like support. It was all for show, of course. Then he reached up to grasp Fred by his shoulders.

"If you get one drop of blood on my robes, Potter, I swear to Merlin..." Fred muttered so that only James could hear.

Professor Posey had been examining another student's potion when James began to yell. Slowly, he turned to face his pupil. He was a short and stocky man with a pasty complexion and a balding head, complete with large glasses that made his eyes seem about ten times bigger than their normal size. James had often stared at those spectacles, wondering exactly how thick the lens was.

"Mr. Potter-"

"Oh, how it hurts!" James wailed dramatically. No one else but Fred would be able to see the slight eyebrow quirk that James' sent him, but Fred seemed to catch on.

Giggles began to ripple throughout the room, but James ignored them. He had to stay in character, after all, and couldn't afford to pay any attention to potential distractions.

"Mr. Potter, I demand that you stop being a disturbance to your peers," Professor Posey snapped above James' cries. The boy took this opportunity to stagger towards his professor, clutching onto his front with a sort of faux-urgency.

"My own flesh and blood did this to me," he groaned.

"I'm sorry!" Fred cried out from somewhere among the stifled laughter, "Sometimes when I'm around potion fumes too long my brain gets all fuzzy and I can't control myself and my arms just fly out all over the place!"

As if to demonstrate this point, he threw out his hand, knocking his book bag to the ground. James was glad that his hand was positioned over his mouth because it would conceal his smirk.

"Professor Posey," James lifted his hand from his face, allowing the blood to hose freely. At the sight of the red liquid, Professor Posey got very pale and had to grab onto a nearby table to steady himself.

"Oh...oh my," he said weakly, turning his head away from the mess James was making on the floor and all over the front of his robes. He squeezed his eyes shut and then said, voice wavering, "Mr. Weasley, please escort Mr. Potter to the Hospital Wing."

Studying the older man, James decided that Professor Posey was indeed about to cry.

"Yes sir!" Fred saluted the man, grabbing both his and James' book bags, knocking his elbow into one of the bottles of ingredients on the table. Coincidentally, it fell into James' cauldron, to which it began to smoke.

"Oh no!" he gasped, holding James by the shoulder and hoisting him upwards, "I have completely ruined your perfect potion, James! I am so terribly sorry!"

"Just take me to the Hospital Wing," James said, swiveling his head away so that he wouldn't get any blood onto Fred and hiding his smirk at Fred's helpful antics. Even though he was quite a bit taller than his cousin, Fred was never really one for empty threats.

"Wait!" one of the students that James always found annoying said suddenly, "They need to clean up!"

"Oh, don't you worry," Fred pointed towards the boy that James had earlier paid as they passed his table, "He'll do it for us!"

As the boy looked up in bewilderment, James took this opportunity to swipe his three Sickles back with a smug, "And thank _you." _

They kept up the act of Fred dragging James along until they were safely down the corridor and the dungeon doors had slammed shut. Then James disentangled himself from Fred, quickly bringing the purple candy to his mouth and pressing his tongue against it. The bleeding immediately ceased into a light trickle and then stopped altogether. He mopped up the excess blood on his face with the sleeve of his robe.

"You've still got a bit of blood all over, mate," Fred said helpfully, smirking a little as they began to walk towards the Gryffindor common rooms.

"I'll wash up later," James replied snappily.

"What will you do if your parents find out you've gotten out of class again?"

"If I go down, then I'm taking you down with me, Weasley," the dark-haired boy raised a menacing brow, "Let's not forget who _supplied _me with the Nosebleed Nougats, now."

"As I hear Albus say many times and am not quite sure how to spell," Fred nodded slowly, "Touché."

The pair passed a window and James heard Fred say in slight irritation, "Why do sixth years get so much free time? They _obviously _are not mature enough to manage it well."

James stopped, realizing that Fred had been saying this with his nose practically pressed up against the glass.

"You're only sour because _you _got your privileges for _that__," _he gestured towards the window that Fred was peering out of, "revoked last year. Now stop ogling the little sixteen-year-olds. They'll find it creepy if they see you."

Fred glanced up, "Lily's out there and she's snogging a random."

Then he let out a startled yell, as James had shoved him out of the way. After a moment of muttered curses and searching, he raised a fist and punched Fred in the shoulder with as much force as he could manage.

"The only two people snogging outside are the two Hufflepuff boys, Roger and Tom! She's in _class!" _

"You're the one who believed me," Fred said, rubbing his shoulder with a slight wince, "At least she's not following her dear older brother's example, eh?"

"Well, Lily's not a bloody idiot," James had thought that this was quite obvious.

"Aww, no, Jamesie-Poo," sighed Fred, slinging an arm around the other's neck and ignoring the low growl that emitted from him, "You're not an _idiot. _Your siblings are just inhumanly sensible - and _boring, _for that matter."

"They're not _that _terrible," James felt a little obligation to stand up for Albus and Lily, "They just have a bit of a different perspective as to what is fun or not than we do."

"Roxanne's every bit as bad as they are. I suppose it skipped us," mused Fred as they finally reached the fifth-level staircase, "Albus and Lily's friend, though, she's not as stuffy as they are. Not the Slytherin, but the cute brunette - er, what's her name?"

"The only brunette that they hang around with is Athena," James said with the tiniest bit of an eye-roll, "and she is not _cute." _

"She's a feisty one," Fred showed no sign that he had heard what James said, "I suppose that she and Scorpius balance them out. Maybe that's why Albus and Lily stick around them."

"'Feisty'?" James repeated dumbly, "Have you ever _spoken _to the girl? She is the most annoying person in the history of the universe."

"You mean that fondly."

"Fred, when I call _you _'annoying', I say it with affection," James pointed out, _"She _is the real deal."

"Hold that thought," Fred held up a finger as they approached the portrait of the Fat Lady. She stared a while at James. He covered his nose in return, feeling a bit self-conscious, while Fred recited the password. The Fat Lady opened her mouth, apparently wanting to make a comment but seemingly decided against it, instead swinging open to admit them.

They immediately beelined towards three figures with their heads bent over their books in a tangled disarray, recognizing them as Albus, Rose and - much to James' dismay - Athena. They didn't notice as Fred and James crept up behind them, as Albus was quizzing them about the characteristics of a gremlin. Fred and James leaped out, shouting loudly, laughing as Albus fell off of his chair and Athena and Rose let out identical shrieks.

"Prats," Rose snapped then as Athena scooted over to check if Albus was okay, seeing as he had landed on the floor beside her, "We were _studying!" _

"Aren't you supposed to be in class right now?" asked Albus, a hand over where he had apparently hit his head on the carpeting as he pulled himself back up to his chair. Then his eyes widened, "Wait - what's wrong with your nose?"

James slapped a hand over his face yet again, "Way to have _tact, _little brother." _  
_

"Why is it all bloody?" Rose raised her eyes to his, looking rather alarmed while she pulled out her wand, muttering a spell under her breath. A sort of heat came over James' face and he raised his hands to his nose before pulling his fingers away and inspecting them. They seemed to be free of blood, to which James sighed in relief.

"Rosie, you are amazing and I love you."

"I'm your _cousin. _You're obligated to love me."

"Technicalities, my dear," James waved this away, flopping down onto Albus' lap. Albus let out a loud groan and shoved his older brother off, sending him toppling to the ground, much to the amusement of Fred.

"To answer your first question, Al," Fred said helpfully, lowering himself down to sit beside Athena, "James screwed up yet another potion and we had to make a quick escape before Professor Posey realized what had happened."

"Again?" Albus said in exasperation, "James, you need a tutor or _something _before you take your N.E.W.T.S."

"How were you even _eligible _to take Potions at a N.E.W.T.S level?" Athena asked, raising an eyebrow, "I've always thought that you were terrible in that subject."

"I am," James shrugged, "but I got a bit lucky when I took the O.W.L.S."

Albus looked at him a moment before his eyes widened, "Wh - is _that _why you asked me to make you Felix Felicis last year? I thought you just needed to learn how to brew it!"

"I'm honestly surprised that you fell for that," James said truthfully, smirking a bit.

"Jamesie-Poo, there wasn't anything to fall for. You weren't acting. You were nearly in _tears," _Fred reminded him, "because you knew that the Liquid Luck was really your only chance at passing the O.W.L.S."

"Why can Fred call you Jamesie-Poo," Albus started, green eyes glinting in confusion, "but when I do it, I get a punch to the gut?"

"Because I'm _special,_" replied Fred with a smirk. Rose and Athena changed a glance, rolling their eyes before both stood up. Albus did so as well, and James took this opportunity to steal his chair.

"We're off to the library," Rose said loudly, grabbing her book bag. Fred and James placed their hands over their ears and began to hum loudly at the mention of what the two of them called 'the Forbidden Place'. Neither of them had ever set foot in the Library in their entire time at Hogwarts and they were intent on keeping the streak alive. When they needed to study, they got Albus or Rose to get their books.

Though he couldn't hear what they were saying, James watched Albus tug Athena by the arm and shake his head adamantly as he looked down at her hand, which was in her bag and fishing around for something. Athena said something sharply to him back before she walked back over James and pulled one hand off of his ear.

"May I borrow a quill?" she asked, her tone a bit too sweet. That should have been James' first warning, but he didn't really think anything of it, instead nodding and slamming his hand back over his ear when he realized that Rose was repeatedly chanting the word 'library' over and over again. Thinking back, he probably thought that Athena had a change of heart instead of wanting to be an absolute bitch all of the time.

Athena reached into his bag that sat beside James, and her hand pulled out a quill. She waved it in the air and mouthed a quick 'thanks' to James, who ignored her. Fred raised his eyebrows at her, obviously confused at her change in behavior, but the girl had hurried away over to Albus and Rose. All three placed their hands over their noses. At first, James thought that they were mocking his formerly-bloody face, but then he smelled it.

It was a familiar stench, as he had been in the presence of it many times, but it still was enough to make his eyes water and him nearly gag.

Fred placed his face in the crook of his elbow, shouting, "Dear _Merlin, _James, it's coming from your bag!"

James scrambled forwards, holding his breath as he used both hands to flip his bag over and empty the contents onto the floor. A small grenade-like object was open, a green smoke of a sort wafting up from it. James was close to vomiting at the smell of it; he had never been in such proximity to a Dungbomb.

The sound of someone laughing caught James' attention and he turned to gape at Athena, who quirked an eyebrow back. Her hand muffled her next sentence, but James heard still heard it loud and clear.

_"That__," _she said, obviously quite proud of herself for planting the Dungbomb into his bag without being caught, "is for all the pranks you've pulled on me since I met you."

James had to think a little as the three sixth-years exited the common rooms; though Rose was laughing, he knew that at least Albus felt sorry for his older brother. He _had _pulled a lot of pranks on Athena over the years - mostly because she gave him the reaction that he always loved - but none as drastic as stinking up her _bag. _A pang of guilt shot through him before it was soothed by anger. The girl was asking for it.

_Athena Tardine, you have no idea what you've done. This means war._

* * *

**Authoress' Note: So I know I have to finish Rules and Regulations (the epilogues, really), but I really wanted to start this. **

**If any of my epicdetour Tumblr followers are reading this, you'll have seen a post about this a few days ago. If you are not following me on Tumblr and would like to keep up with my stories a bit, the link is on my profile. I'd love you fo'eva if you follow me there, haha. **

**Anyways, I'd really, honestly appreciate it if you'd review. **

**Disclaimer (I'm not going to be doing this every chapter, just saying): I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters. They belong solely to J.K Rowling. Any of the spells, potions, or magical creatures that may be mentioned in this Fanfiction also do not belong to me. I only own the plot as well as Athena Tardine. I do not own any of the songs that are mentioned at the beginning of these songs, either.**


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